Post by Admin on Feb 14, 2016 18:34:35 GMT -5
Those of us who have over - stimulated our addiction and now find ourselves in a crisis, have learned to use the art of deception to continue our destructive behavior. We have taken the driving forces of life and fueled our addiction when we should have used the driving force of life only to met our basic or life needs.
Look at the following examples.
Money:
The addict: Doesn't pay for their food, water shelter ... (Ex. We need money for food.)
Enabler: Gives it to them because once they were homeless, cold, sick or hungry. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves.
The addict: Takes the money and spends it on their addiction.
Barter:
The addict: Can you give me a ride and I will _________________ ?
The Enabler: Gives the hitchhiker a ride because it was cold, dark or dangerous.
The addict: Arrives in town to fuel up on their addiction.
Donations:
The addict: Accepts the donation / goes to the shelter for free food / and is back on the street to fuel their addiction.
The Enabler: Gives the donation because a driving force inside of them tells them it was the right thing to do. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves. We are a better person in society for it.
When we give donations, follow it up and see what positive action came out of it. Ex: Don't give a homeless person $100.00 and praise them because they went to the liquor store and bought food for other homeless people. Fact is, they went to the liquor store for themselves first. They are feeding their friends on your dime! Goes for your kids too. Don't let them live with you and then they turn around and let other people leave with you. Chances are they are the addict friends. (whatever the case may be)
Charity:
The addict: Accepts the charity.
The Enabler: Gives the charity because a driving force inside of them tells them it was the right thing to do. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves. We are a better person in society for it.
The addict: Ex. Pregnant homeless teen lives with us and accepts charity for her baby but does not stop her addiction.
Piracy:
The addict: Steals anything they can to continue their addiction. It does not have to be money. It can also be donations, charity, time any thing of value. They suck the very life out of the person who is enabling there addiction and the enabler is not aware until it is too late.
12 Steps In Deprogramming The Enabler: Based On the Philosophy Of The I Ching
1). Admit that I do have the power over the manipulator in my life to say the "inner no".
2). Come to be centered and in harmony with my true self to restore me back to tranquility.
3). Make a decision to turn my situation and my life over to God as I understand God to be.
4). To employ the helpers all around me specific help me in specific situations.
5). To free myself of the guilt, fear. doubt, hatred, and blame (both self blame and blame of others) the manipulator has placed upon me.
6). To be willing to close an inner connection with the manipulator temporarily or permanently.
7). To retreat from conflict or opposition under the control of the manipulator.
8). To free myself of the mistaken beliefs or ideas placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
9). To free myself from fear (both large and small) placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
10). To free myself of any health problems, mental and physical, placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
11). To come to the acceptance that the manipulator must take responsibility for their own situation at this moment in time.
12). Give my manipulator over to God and trust God that their basic and life needs will be met. Their situation is due to their own choices.
Look at the following examples.
Money:
The addict: Doesn't pay for their food, water shelter ... (Ex. We need money for food.)
Enabler: Gives it to them because once they were homeless, cold, sick or hungry. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves.
The addict: Takes the money and spends it on their addiction.
Barter:
The addict: Can you give me a ride and I will _________________ ?
The Enabler: Gives the hitchhiker a ride because it was cold, dark or dangerous.
The addict: Arrives in town to fuel up on their addiction.
Donations:
The addict: Accepts the donation / goes to the shelter for free food / and is back on the street to fuel their addiction.
The Enabler: Gives the donation because a driving force inside of them tells them it was the right thing to do. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves. We are a better person in society for it.
When we give donations, follow it up and see what positive action came out of it. Ex: Don't give a homeless person $100.00 and praise them because they went to the liquor store and bought food for other homeless people. Fact is, they went to the liquor store for themselves first. They are feeding their friends on your dime! Goes for your kids too. Don't let them live with you and then they turn around and let other people leave with you. Chances are they are the addict friends. (whatever the case may be)
Charity:
The addict: Accepts the charity.
The Enabler: Gives the charity because a driving force inside of them tells them it was the right thing to do. Our religion tells us to help those less fortunate. Now we feel good about ourselves. We are a better person in society for it.
The addict: Ex. Pregnant homeless teen lives with us and accepts charity for her baby but does not stop her addiction.
Piracy:
The addict: Steals anything they can to continue their addiction. It does not have to be money. It can also be donations, charity, time any thing of value. They suck the very life out of the person who is enabling there addiction and the enabler is not aware until it is too late.
12 Steps In Deprogramming The Enabler: Based On the Philosophy Of The I Ching
1). Admit that I do have the power over the manipulator in my life to say the "inner no".
2). Come to be centered and in harmony with my true self to restore me back to tranquility.
3). Make a decision to turn my situation and my life over to God as I understand God to be.
4). To employ the helpers all around me specific help me in specific situations.
5). To free myself of the guilt, fear. doubt, hatred, and blame (both self blame and blame of others) the manipulator has placed upon me.
6). To be willing to close an inner connection with the manipulator temporarily or permanently.
7). To retreat from conflict or opposition under the control of the manipulator.
8). To free myself of the mistaken beliefs or ideas placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
9). To free myself from fear (both large and small) placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
10). To free myself of any health problems, mental and physical, placed upon me by both myself and the manipulator.
11). To come to the acceptance that the manipulator must take responsibility for their own situation at this moment in time.
12). Give my manipulator over to God and trust God that their basic and life needs will be met. Their situation is due to their own choices.