Post by Admin on Jan 26, 2018 4:25:52 GMT -5
Are you feeling guilty?
Often, a major reason that loved ones of addicts use enabling behaviors is that they feel guilty about the addiction in the first place. If you're like many loved ones, you may mistakenly think that you're somehow responsible for the addict you love.
But you did NOT cause the addiction to happen. You may be contributing to it continuing, but you didn't cause it. Even though no one chooses to become an addict (in fact, most addicts believe they're 'special' and can handle addictive substances and behaviors without becoming addicted), there always comes a time when addicts know there's something wrong and that they're in trouble. It is at this point that they have a choice -- to either remain in active addiction or to begin some type of active recovery.
Think about it this way -- if addicts didn't have this choice, then no one would be recovering. Millions of people are in recovery from addiction because they made the choice to stop hiding from reality by using a self-sabotaging behavior. As the loved one of an addict, you are NOT responsible for the choices the addict is making. If you feel you are contributing, then it's your responsibility to change what you're doing. And once you do that, you'll feel far less guilt and a lot more self-respect.
Remember: You can't change another person, but you can change yourself. It takes courage for you to look within and to do whatever you can to contribute to healthier ways of being the loved one of someone with an addiction.
Often, a major reason that loved ones of addicts use enabling behaviors is that they feel guilty about the addiction in the first place. If you're like many loved ones, you may mistakenly think that you're somehow responsible for the addict you love.
But you did NOT cause the addiction to happen. You may be contributing to it continuing, but you didn't cause it. Even though no one chooses to become an addict (in fact, most addicts believe they're 'special' and can handle addictive substances and behaviors without becoming addicted), there always comes a time when addicts know there's something wrong and that they're in trouble. It is at this point that they have a choice -- to either remain in active addiction or to begin some type of active recovery.
Think about it this way -- if addicts didn't have this choice, then no one would be recovering. Millions of people are in recovery from addiction because they made the choice to stop hiding from reality by using a self-sabotaging behavior. As the loved one of an addict, you are NOT responsible for the choices the addict is making. If you feel you are contributing, then it's your responsibility to change what you're doing. And once you do that, you'll feel far less guilt and a lot more self-respect.
Remember: You can't change another person, but you can change yourself. It takes courage for you to look within and to do whatever you can to contribute to healthier ways of being the loved one of someone with an addiction.